It came in today. I started playing at 3 in the afternoon.
...............................
As predicted, my life is slowly slipping away from me as I do my best to woo Saeki-kun, Harry-kun and hopefully the secret character too (Kazuyuki Akagi...le sigh).
Clearly, this was a bad purchase, for it is 10 minutes to four in the morning, and I have to be awake and prettified by 9.
...Ah, well.
(If I manage to tear myself away for long enough, maybe I'll write more details about the game and how I'm doing. But now... sleep.)
I'm in love with a new band....
I love my mom, but sometimes I think she's crazy. (I guess it's my job as her child.)
Sometimes she just, you know, says things. We had an argument today, a completely stupid one. She told me she felt like the least important thing to me right now.
I was flabbergasted, to be honest. When has she ever not been the most important thing in my life? I always think about her. This week, I was going to spend the night at her house tonight and tomorrow night, since my stepdad is out of town and she might feel lonely. Whenever I plan things, I can never be concrete because I always factor in my mom wanting to spend time with me. I have to say, "Well, let me check with my mom first." My friends laugh and say, "Aren't you in college now?", but I do it anyway.
I did it last week. I told her that my friends wanted me to go into Lincoln, but I knew I hadn't got to spend a lot of time with her so I was wondering if we had any plans or if she wanted me to hang out at home. She told me to go. But today, she brings it up like I had abandoned her without a thought towards her.
Now, I know, there's always external factors. She hurt her back today and so she's working at home. I'm sure it's painful. But every. damn. time. What she does and says affects me.
(finish later)
Ah, it never does any good to leave a post behind. By the time I come back to it, all the emotions are gone and I don't want to delve back into the black pit that once was.
No problems! Tomorrow...Indiana Jones!
Well, here's to my first day home home, as in, home at my mom's house with half my things unpacked. I followed my pleasantly normal schedule of going to bed at 3 am and waking up exactly 12 hours later, but I still haven't gotten that summer feeling. It helped a little when I stepped outside to let the dogs go potty, seeing as how the weather was incredibly nice (but incredibly windy).
Oh well. Just gotta get used to it, I guess. (And to make sure I bring home Okami on the Wii with me so that I can play it during the day... muahahaha)
Well, seeing as summer is now officially upon me, I decided on my ride home that I want to provide something at least a little interesting to the world of VOX (Because lord knows no one really enjoys reading about my romance problems).
So, I decided to talk about two things I really enjoy: Rock and Japanese boy bands. From Johnny's Entertainment. Combined, of course.
The reason is, while I do love me some JE boys, my favorite genre happens to be rock, not cutesy-bubbly-boy-pop. You can imagine my extreme pleasure when I discovered a few songs that happened to be more of the former than the latter.
My goals in creating this segment to my blog will be as such:
(*Note: I won't ever say anything useful. I am not reviewing. I am just telling. Very badly. With lots of fangirling.)1. Introducing rock songs by JE boys to previously uninformed fangirls (or boys, whatever)
2. Discovering more rock songs by JE boys to enjoy
3. Stimulating discussion and other scholarly-sounding things about JE rock songs (NOT)
4. Enjoying JE boys rocking out hardcore
Simple, yes? Let's get started!
Rhodesia
Track: 6
Either way, though, this is a solid piece and is still one of my favorite songs by the band. I love rocking out to it.
Cry for you
Album: Time
Track: 9
My favorite JE band has a rock song! Holy crap! Ahhhh!
Those were my thoughts when this song first came on shuffle. Or more, when the chorus came on. Cry for you is a very un-Arashi-like song, with a darker, cooler feeling compared to some of their other ones (you know, like Love so sweet? haha). Obviously, I about peed my pants from excitement when I had heard it all the way through, just because Arashi + guitar = awesome. Okay enough fangirling. Point is, I love this song.
In essence, I am obsessed with these kinds of songs, and I can't wait to find more. That's really the whole point of this segment. I just want more JE rock. Please give me some. I'll talk about it. But really I just wanna listen.
Next time: KAT-TUN "Lips" and... ???
It's my birthday!
♪ SUMMER is NEARLY HERE! (by school standards, anyway)
I get out Wednesday afternoon ♥♥♥
This is one of those times where I had full intentions to go to bed, but as per usual my brain started a-churnin' and I had to get something out.
You know how you sometimes hit those pockets of time where you're totally into self-analysis and there's one point about yourself that you're just trying to figure out like no other? I've been in one of those swings lately.
But see, I was thinking that I couldn't write about this subject quite yet, because I wasn't confident with my analysis that I had so far, and also I just wasn't really comfortable with sharing it. It was an internal thing.
And then, I remembered. I remembered the first friend who really was watching my VOX, and what he did. Last year, as in, last school year, 2006, sometime in early first semester, this friend did a sort of... personality assessment, if you will. He kind of interviewed me, and then combined it all into one thing that could describe me. The result?
A bubble.
Yes. I am a bubble. And believe me, it's freakish how well it fits me. From the second he said it, we both knew it was absolutely correct. From little basic things like what I'm interested at the moment, to bigger things like why I make certain decisions, it is the perfect explanation. And every day since then, when I try to examine myself, his analysis pops up and I realize more and more how much of a bubble I am.
The subject that got me started on this was boys. Of course. It's always boys. But this was boys in relation to my own self. When I was younger, I had prided myself on being an open, trusting person. But today, my mother got me thinking. She said she thought I might be afraid to let people in. It was more of a side comment, really, part of a larger conversation and didn't really stimulate any debate. Mostly because I didn't know what to say. But anyway.
It ties in to all my problems with boyfriends. My mom has also been concerned about whether or not I'm too independent when it comes to the male sex. She has always raised me to be my own woman, to stand well on my own. You know, the mindset that if I end up as a crazy old hippie lady with nothing but cats, then that's okay and life is peachy.
But I think she fears that it's been pounded into my brain too much. That instead of accepting it if it comes along, that I'm striving for it. And I never know what to say to her when she comes up with things like that. Because I think, deep inside, I've been wondering those things too. At it's most basic, the question is -- why can I drop a guy so fast? It's not like I consciously decide that I don't care about them anymore, it just happens. And this goes for all boyfriends, not just K-boy. My first boyfriend that I dated for a year was out of my mind within the week after I broke up with him. Yeah, of course, I cried the first night, and was sad the next couple, but in general I recall being A-OK.
All these puzzling things come to a halt when applied to the Bubble Theory, however. It's simply a matter of nothing sticking to me properly. I float around, and some things stick quite well - like Japanese, drawing, reading, writing... but they're not always there. Sometimes they get detached, because I get annoyed or frustrated with them, and they just lay around me until I float over and pick them up again.
Other things come and go much more quickly -- certain anime or manga, story ideas (those are SUPER quick), songs, new games, anything like that. And then, boys. Boys don't seem to stick very well to me. Or, at least, they do, but they can be shaken off easily if I want. And that's what happens.
So I guess all I need to do is wait until there's a boy who will stick with a much stronger force than anyone before. I just don't know if it's a problem of myself needing to be more stickable, or just that I haven't met the right one yet.
(All I know is that I think my mom would be happier if I played around with boys more. I'm so boring.)
/end self analysis
School's out soon!
Like the title says, it's the only thing that makes me post. Well, REAL entries, anyway.
Maybe this summer I'll do a better job of updating. (Yeah, right...)
Anyway, here lies the closing chapter of the Third Boy Adventure during my college career. Mr. K-boy, I'm sorry, and thank you for all the memories. We were never really dating, and I knew that once you left the country my fancy for you would be out the window, but I tried to hang on for as long as I could.
It's still sad, though. But I guess it always is. Saying goodbye permanently to feelings you once had, feelings you wish you still had but couldn't keep... and of course, knowing you'll be hurting the person you once liked... these things are all upsetting. But because we can feel sorrow for these things, it makes us human.
If I hadn't said anything, then he would have come in the summer to visit. And I would probably have started liking him again. But then he would leave. I don't want to deal with that. I know better.
Thusly, this is the end. It was a good run. Maybe if you hadn't left it would've lasted. But you left.
And now, not long after I post this, I'll have to make 3 pointless happy posts so I don't see the depressing one every time I look at my own page.
